I recall, as a young and earnest seeker, meditating intensely, my brows furrowed with determination, dreaming of iron discipline and unwavering commitment. I believed I had to forge myself into a spiritual warrior through sheer force of will. But I say to you now as a not-as-young seeker: this is not the way.
Imagine, if you will, a purple-headed flower pushing through the cracks of a sunbaked sidewalk. Does it force its way up with grim resolve? No, it simply grows, nourished by the earth below, rooted, and drawn by the light above, rising. This is the essence of a sustainable meditation practice.
Courage, not discipline, is the first key. It takes courage to sit with oneself, to face the cacophony of thoughts and emotions that arise when we settle down and get quiet. I had a friend named Doug who was a world-class mountain climber, yet he trembled at the thought of sitting alone with his mind for ten minutes. “I can’t do it,” he’d say, “I’m not strong enough.” But strength was never the issue – it was fear. When he redirected the courage it took to scale K2 and applied it to simply be present with whatever arose, his practice blossomed.
Self-respect is the soil in which this courage takes root. To meditate is to say to yourself, “I am worthy of this time, this space, this attention.” It is an act of profound self-love. I recall a dear friend of mine who diligently meditated each morning, but always with an undercurrent of self-criticism. “I’m not doing it right,” she’d lament. “I’m not progressing fast enough.” It was only when she learned to approach her practice with gentleness and respect for her own journey that she truly began to flourish.
And what of community? Well, this is the sunlight and water that nourishes our growing practice. We are not meant to walk this path alone. In the company of fellow seekers, we find inspiration, support, and the mirror of shared experience. I think of our crew that meets on Zoom on Mondays – busy professionals or recent retirees – sitting together, there’s a palpable field of presence that arises, even in the virtual venue. We lift each other up, celebrate each other’s insights, and hold space for each other’s efforts.
Now, don’t misunderstand me. Discipline has its place. It’s the trellis that supports the vine, the banks that guide the river. But discipline alone is a harsh taskmaster that often leads to burnout and self-judgment. It’s like trying to force a flower to grow by pulling on its stem – you’ll only damage the very thing you’re trying to nurture.
Instead, let courage be your compass. Have the boldness to sit with yourself, to face whatever arises with an open heart. Let self-respect be your foundation. Treat your practice, and yourself, with the kindness and patience you’d offer a dear friend. And let community be your garden. Surround yourself with fellow travelers who understand the journey, who can offer both challenge and comfort.
When these three elements come together – courage, self-respect, and community – something magical happens. Your meditation practice ceases to be a chore, a box to be checked off your spiritual to-do list. It becomes a joy, a homecoming, a dance with the very essence of life itself.